Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!
From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Sorry, I’m still laughing my ass off at Tom Tancredo’s little baby hissy fit. (Mean old blogger…you made former congressman cry.) While I regain my composure, please…enjoy some late night snark:
“Voters in the state of Maine voted no to gay marriage, but yes to medical marijuana. That’s right—people in Maine believe marriage should be a sacred institution between a really stoned man and a really stoned woman.”
—Conan O’Brien
-
“Some people in Connecticut are upset that Joe [Lieberman] now opposes the public option. Namely, the 64 percent of people in Connecticut who support a public option. But remember, Joe’s party is ‘Connecticut for Lieberman,’ not ‘Lieberman for Connecticut.’ Big difference. You see, Joe’s a true independent. He’s independent of political parties, and he’s independent of his constituents. I say, stick to your principles, Joe. And as soon as you can, let us know what those are.”
—Stephen Colbert
-
“A new study found that women’s faces age and wrinkle just like their mothers. The study was conducted by the American Society of Wrong Things to Say to Your Wife.”
—Jimmy Fallon
-
“It’s interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression?”
—David Letterman
-
Bill O’Reilly: I’ll call the race right now: Hoffman wins.
Sean Hannity: Doug Hoffman to ride a tidal wave of support all the way to D.C.!
—Fox Conservative Opinion Channel
-
“This weekend, President Obama declared a national emergency in response to the growing threat of swine flu. … In response to Obama’s declaration, the Republican leaders this morning came out in support of the swine flu.”
—Jimmy Kimmel
And please fling some poo at the biggest bullshit peddler of the ‘09 elections, courtesy of The Daily Show’s research team:
Former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer—November 3, 2009: It’s a real significant check on Barack Obama’s first year in office. I don’t think anyone can minimize what it means to the president.
Anderson Cooper: The White house will say these are local elections about local issues. Do you buy that?
Fleischer: No.
-
Fleischer in the White House briefing room 8 years ago—November 5, 2001: You have to take a look at off-year elections as local elections, primarily. I think there’s a pretty universal view on that. … Typically these kinds of off-year elections are reflective of local events, local politics.
And the man still has a license to operate a motor vehicle.
Come tip my jar. I give you stale candy corn. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts in There’s Moreville… [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Source
